Experimenting

First off, I apologize for not writing for a while, I have been busy trying to pay the bills.

So I have lost 20lbs, which means my beer bully is almost gone. It wasn't that tough considering that I workout everyday. I actually made changes in what I ate and the weight start to come off fast. The interesting thing is my clothes still fit but they are just a little to big, not baggy, but leaving enough room to realize that maybe I should drop one size.

So last week, I took up MB's advice and I bought shirts that were one size smaller. I never thought I would get the responses that I have. It is definitely a boost in confidence and makes it easier to approach once I noticed that woman has checked me out.

Last week, I stopped reading pua materials except for blogs and groups. I was getting so bogged down in all the books out there and trying to absorb everything I could. What I found out is that all the readings and exercises actually confused me and threw me off for a little bit. And I actually got ripped off by one, so over the next week I will be adding book reviews to this blog.

Anyway, my whole pre-party idea is starting to get out of hand simply because guys invite their guys friends because girls are going to be here. (Idiots !!!) I'll continue doing it until the end of summer then switch the venue to bar. I need to be out there practicing anyway with I don't know.

I read something last night about our minds, bodies, and reality. I think it was from alphalist or ideagasm, but it basically stated that our bodies doesn't know the difference between reality or fantasy and that our behavior can be accidentally modified. So if you rub one out to porn, your body does not know the difference so your satisfaction comes from porn and not real sex if you continue this instead of going out and meeting women your body will adapt to the satisfaction that it gets from you and porn not the actual biological behavior of mating. I'm not saying stop touching yourself, but to me whoever came up with this idea has hit on something.

So I turned it around on myself, if my actual AFCness is a product of my mind then reality must be completely different. So I spent a week just talking to people (most women) with real interest not trying to game them. What I found is that in that mindset, it was easier to talk. The only problem I see is that I run the risk of having many "friends" and not enough mates. But I think this intial step has activated or reactivated something in me, my next step should be to escalate to desire, interests, or etc...

It's been fun and interesting experimenting.

Cleveland in DC

Saturday, I decide I would have another pre-party. It is amazing what 2 hours, alcohol, and friends can do to my apartment. Anyway, we hit Panache and I flat out get shotdown twice in a row and these were my throwaways to be honest they have been deaf or socially inept, because they both just nodded and stuck their hands out but close to their bodies, it kinda freaked me out .

So I head to the bar to find my friends when I catch up with them someone hands me a drink as I turn I see this girl dancing very nice body cute face - BCleveland. As a take a sip of my drink, she glance over at me. I should have done the 3 second rule, but I wanted to make sure she was checking me out. She glances up at me again, she holds, I hold, I smile, she smiles, and I walk over and say Hey. We exchange your normal greeting bs. There's a momnet of silence, I take her hand and go off to the dance floor. (What I have I been missing for the past upteen years; why did I ever asked girls to dance if all it took was taking the hands and going to the dance floor) We dance for a while and go to the bar, a couple of her friends come over, she introduces them, and her friends leave us alone, we continue to chat. Somehow, I gotten into this habit of wrapping arm around chicks as if I was dating them, but I quite haven't gotten it to the point of making it sexual, still debating that in my head, anyway I got BCleveland in this half hug thing chatting about random things. Her friends return say something to her and leave again. We start to converse again and she breaks into her take my number down I gotta jet, I grab a pen and napkin take down her number. She gives me hug and a beck on the lips.

Not a bad interaction, but I'm not sure if she is going to flake. Our interaction was quick and almost effortless. It might be because I have been playing with Gunwith's Assume Rapport technique. I think it relaxes me more than anything that I have tried. I think the two girls early on could have shut me down, but some reason I decide the problem was them and let their rejection just hang in the air.

The Return of MB

MB, my European muscle bound long haired only talks to women who are as thin as a needle friend has been a freaking pain in the ass for about a month or so - wanting to go out but not talk to anyone. Only Friday, he told me that on Thursday, he saw the woman of his dream and went to go talked to her and froze up and could not do anything. I said, "Wow, that shit happens to me everyday", he thought I was fucking with him and he got pissed. He started talking about how this never happens, and he can get pretty much any women, blah, blah, blah ... to which I responded, "Whoa is you" (This time I was fucking with him). He didn't respond so I layed into him about spending a month standing or sitting at bars and being fucked up whack-go, who didn't talk to good looking women who were talking to him. He said, "yeah, you're right" and thens goes into some weird psycho babble about only talking to women he wants to talk to. To which, I responded, "See what happens when you are an asshole, when your opportunity came, you blew it because you spent so much time not being social". His response was "hmmm... you might be right about that". Anyway, MB is back his talking to woman, pushing me to talk to hotter women (I'm getting to comfy with cuties).

What I have learned from this experience is that you have to always practice or socialize. My good friend basically stop talking to women for a month. I don't know why, but I'm sure there is some mental scar there. As for me, my day game is coming along well, but my nights have sucked. I think thru MB freakness I have found why my night game has dropped -- I have not been to happy hour or out at night during the week since I hurt my leg. So it's back to happy hours, softball games, fundraisers, embassy parties, and crashing conferences hotel parties, let's see if I can modest approach rate for this week. I will shoot for 2 girls per night for the rest of the week starting tonight.

Estonia

I accidentally began doing something have not done since college -> the pre-party. Friday, I called a bunch of friends up to come over for drinks before going out. I made sure I had more girls than guys, it actually got my boys hyped up. It actually worked out pretty well and really got me flowing. When we got to Cloud, I was in a good pua mood just opening up to everyone. MB was out of his AFC mode (to be discussed in the next post). We were at the bar grabbing a drink and I said hello saying to nice little brunnette standing next to me - BEstonia.

BEstonia just starts chatting me up, she goes into a story about to two guys trying to talk to her and her friend. I wasn't sure if she was testing me so I let her continue the story and I grab her hand and took her to the dance floor. Into the third song, a HBPoland (BEstonia friend) comes over and starts dancing which threw me for a loop for a second until BEstonia introduce us. I waved MB over and he started dancing with us and I introduce everyone. After another two songs, I told BEstonia I had to go to the restroom (and I really needed to go). She nodded. I had no idea what that nod meant, but I wasn't going to let her stay there so I grabbed her hand and took her along with me. I go in the men's and she goes into the women's. When I was finished, I had no idea of what to do. Do I stand outside the restrooms and wait? Do I go to the bar? Do I go back to the dance floor? I decided to go to the bar as I did she came up behind me and grabbed me. We grabbed a couple of drinks and sit down on the couch in the front of the bar.

We get into some convo about kickboxing and started to play fight which made it easy for transition into hugging and pecks on the cheeks. HBPoland and MB come over and sit down. And we all begin chatting it up and joking. While I kept up the kino (handholding & hugging), I really could not escalate up to a full kiss except for kiss on the cheeks and little nibbles on the lips. So I grab BEstonia and took her to the dance floor, we got until this cool little groove smiling and laughing. When the fourth song comes on, HBPoland comes over with MB and says that she has to head home. So MB and I walked them to their car and we exchange numbers as Bestonia and I are hugging goodbye, we begin to kiss and then she jumps into HBPoland car and they take off.

I really don't know what I can say about lessons learned here except for invite girls over for drinks with my friends so my friends want be lame-asses all night. I also think moving BEstonia around the bar and getting her alone helped out a lot. I also took advantage of our kickboxing convo. Anyway, not a bad night.

Night Game Dead

One of the most interesting that I have found out about my progression is that I do well in the day during the week and alright on the weekend. Over the past three weeks, my night game has almost become non-existent. I know what the problem is - it's my friends, they have stop trying. While they have stop trying, I have at least in my mind have not, but when I'm with them, that freaking AFC guy comes roaring in. This will probably be the last weekend that I will actively go out with them, I'm going to give it one more shot with the exception of I'm just going to approach and do my thing - screw them, they can be unhappy or stand around like they're the hottest studs around, I'm sick of it. This probably the first time that I have actually experience boredom when going out with friends, this whole pua experience has definitely change my mindset. I'm no longer upset with rejections or making an ass out of myself, I'm actually upset when I fail to approach or open.

Average Joe

Average Joe is back on the air. Yippeee !!! I was actually happy when I first saw that Average Joe was coming back on. I have to admit that I liked the first. Up until about January, I would have liked this one, but it is painful to watch, not because of the guys on it, but it reminds me of every single AFC behavior that I have ever exhibited. While painful I forced myself to watch last night's episode. It's like some sick sadistic mental treatment. It really hard to watch behavior that had been ingrained in you also decent and now know it's complete crap. It's like watching a train wreck that is going to happen and not being able to do anything about it while also knowing the pain that will be inflicted these guys because you have been through that train wreck so many times.

Alcohol, Approaching, & Friends

I spent Thursday thru Monday partying my ass off which completely screwed up my game, but I'll let slip this time because I had a blast and hooked-up with three different women.

Here's a couple of things I learned this weekend:
1. Men must approach.
- Thursday, I made MB talk to a woman I was interested in because I was so freaking tried of him sitting around doing nothing. She was cute, I held the conversation well, got her laughing and touching me, but she was into in MB even though he was being his aloof self.
- Friday, I approached BNatalie, who was dancing in front of MB and he was not going to talk to her or dance with her. I introduce myself, she did the same. I grab her hand and started dancing with her. At first, I thought it was going to be one of those dance for long time and bail deals, but we dance for a while, hit the bar for drinks, talked for a while, hit pizza mart and then her place, no sex, but nice hot make out session.
- Saturday, MB, DW, and I checked out a new club. I knew the bartender from the gym so she hooked us with drinks. I head off to the bathroom, when I returned MB and DW were talking to two chicks at first I was relieved and then panic hit... what to do. I wasn't going to go and stand by them so I went to the other end of the bar and made my way to the middle and just introduce myself to the girl (chubby but cute, Fran) standing ordering a drinks, I went on about how I love the 4th of July in DC, she actually came around and began to talk then her boyfriend walks up, she introduces us and I go into some spill about the Nats and his guard goes down, Fran introduces me to her girlfriend BKaty who automatically goes into DC talk, who are you, what do you do, blah, blah, blah, to all my replies were smartass lies - I'm Fran's ex, I sell fiber optic cable - all which messes her up when she tries to talk her job on the hill, because I'm asking her questions about policy and legislation and now she can't tell if I messing with her or not so which makes her drop her DC talk and she actually becomes friendly eventually when ended up dancing and exchanging numbers.

2. Leave your friends even if you are out with them.
Sunday, I had a birthday party to go. We ate and drank and then went to the Georgetown waterfront. I was with two married guys and two single guys. So we all know what's going on. The married guys want to get drunk, stare at chicks, and then push the single guys to go talk them. The singles guys want to drink and try to pick up chicks so after an hour of drinking and bsing. I left them at the bar wander around for a bit. I approach a cute blonde (HBStacy) sitting alone, we chatted for a ten minutes and it was going no where so I ejected. I approach two girls sitting at the bar, they were from Kansas, I actually held the convo for a good 20 minutes but couldn't make a bridge to escalate it, my friends eventually wander over and stood around and the convo died.

3. Alcohol kills my game
After four drinks, I don't want pua anymore. That freaking AFC voice clogs my mind and completely mess with me if I'm already on or in the convo then I'm fine, but if I had not made any approaches then I'm completely off.

So what I have learned is this no matter how attractive a woman finds you, if you don't approach her, you will lose. No matter how much you like your friends that can be a hindrance to you if they are not out to pua. Approach before drinking, it's doing approaches that gets you in the mindset, not the alcohol.