Monday, May 16, 2005

SHBSwimmer (Round One)

I met SHBSwimmer (formerly HBSwimmer) about three weeks ago at Mie-n-Yue through a friend who actually likes this girl, but screwed up when he got in fight with some guy who spilled a drink on her. Anyway, here is why I like her because she is my SHB 'test girl'. This girl is smoking hot without a doubt in a total different category. So why is she my 'test girl', well because if I can keep this girl in the not a friend, not girlfriend, and me out of AFC mode: I love you, you are so beautiful category while also not getting myself thrown in the friend category then I might have a chance to hold my own with other SHBs.

So why is this girl in a completely different catetgory, well because she makes guy shut up and women take a glance. She's the type of woman who has a sexy body, but knows how to dress to show it off with showing too much skin. She is bright, highly educated and financially well-off. She doesn't accept drinks or any other things that guys send her way, she politely says 'No, thanks'. At least, in my mind she has some serious game skills so how to turn sober and drunk guys down without being rude even they are asses. I have met many women in DC who have one or two of this girl's qualities, but they are asses, she makes them look small.

Anyway, I ran into her at Spank on Saturday when I was on my way to Andulu's. She asked if she her friends can join us. It was no problem because while I had a mix crew I had more guys so more girls was always works out well and plus I had few drinks in me and wanted to see if I could hold my own with her. I think the single most important thing I did with her was once we got in, I grabbed her and took her to the dance floor she protested a little but started grooving with me anyway after the thrid song we found our friends who had found a corner table and were drinking and mingling. This where my observations began.

My friend (DP) has no problem meeting women, he is muscular, long wavy hair, and he has an accent, but he does not approach women, he just gives them a gaze with a smirk and motion them to come over which works about 40% of the time, his good fortune has spoiled him and also cursed him, because if a girl or women has some substance to her she jets, he can't hold a real conversation, he goes slient after about a minute or so. Don't get me wrong, he gets a lot women (bastard) depsite not having any conversation skills. SHBSwimmer goes up to DP and introduces herself while I'm talking to one of her friends.

At this point, I'm thinking to myself this probably one the few situations where have everyone at least at this point is normal. Normal being, no one is piss drunk, no one is zooted (high), no one is mrobidly obese, no one was disfigured in any kind of way, and no one had been beaten by an ugly and if they were they knew how to hide there faults. HBPamela was a co-worker of SHBSwimmer, she was a petite little hispanic chick, she had the same diposition as SHBSwimmer, I have to figure out if they all went to the same college, sorority, or charm school. It was weird to have four women good looking women who were charming and knew how to handle themselves and men.

HBPamela and I squeeze out on the dance floor for a couple of songs and SHBSwimmer joins us then the majority of our whole group is out there dancing and having a great time. Then there was this strange type of reality that hit me. It was that in the packed basement club, just about every guy was fixated on SHBSwimmer. It was scary I actually felt bad for her. Anyway, my leg started to ache so I grab a beer and water and sat down in our corner cove. The bouncer asked me if I knew SHBSwimmer, I said yes, he asked if I would introduce him, I said sure. (I know you PUAs are saying what f? And I know there was probably a couple of things I could have done to reverse this course.) I wanted to see you had game to get this girl, because no one was walking up to her and talking to her, they were just gawking at her.

DP returns to the table and basically pledge his left nut for SHBSwimmer. I ask how is convo with her went. He said he thought it was going good until he said we should get together and she responded with smile and one of those looks that you get as in silly boy you blew your chance and walked onto the dance floor. He asked for my opinion, I said in my opinion you probably went too fast in trying to get a date, but in reality that was just a guess.

The group returns and everyone is cheerful and drinks are flowing. I introduce SHBSwimmer to the bouncer, he trys to give her a tour. A TOUR !!!! The place is about the size 3 studio apartments put together. She declines comes back and joins the rest of the group. At that moment fear griped me, I know I missed calculated so where and screwed but I could not figure out what. I was wondering if it was the death blow. Anyway, I struck up a convo with SHBSwimmer friend HBMary, she was telling a story about a guy doing cards tricks at Spank which I thought was creative way to meet women, the problem is that the bar down the street the owner does great card tricks and he does it to every single woman who comes in his joint. HBMary had already seen the trick earlier that night at dinner, she also said it would not had been so bad and they would have asked the guy to do more, but he smelled.

--> Two lessons here: 1. Know the area you working in if you are going to use a gimmick 2. Take a shower; use deorderant

My friends wanted to hit one more place before last called so we decided to go to Setso. I invited SHBSwimmer and her friends. They said sure. As we all head up the stairs SHBSwimmer grabs my arm and says 'I don't appreciate you introducing me to people who are not your friends', in firm but soft voice. This is where I was like f*** and as the nanoseconds ticked I struggle to come to up with something clever to say in response, I just interlock her arm with mine and walked her out before I said something stupid or apologize. What is interesting is she did not nag me or continue on with the subject. Once outside we waited for everyone, and guy walks up to SHBSwimmer and just kicks it to her .... Yo baby, You gotta it gone on, Why don't you hang with me and my boys ..... She looks at him smiles and walks away. The guy smiles and goes his own way.

Once inside Setso's, everyone just starts to dance. It was packed. I met a cute Asian girl while dancing, but couldn't really keep the conversation going so I drag her off the floor and asked for her number. I got it and went back to my friends. And all I could think was: 'Is that it, is that what I have been stressing about a little bumb and grind and a 2 min. conversation, is that all it takes?' I decided that it was just dumb freaking luck so I tested it. I walked up to a cute hispanic looking girl, introduce myself, ask her to dance, got decline, but she bought me a drink, screwed up pug & beagle opinion opener, ask for her number, got decline, but she offered her email (not sure if it is real), but it took 7 mins. I'm still think the stars were aligned saturday night.

Anyway, like George Costanza, I wanted to leave on a high note. I told my friends goodbye and said goodbye to SHBSwimmer and her friends. SHBSwimmer says 'Hey, I don't have your number' and I said 'because I have not given it you yet, so here write your number, I handed her the slip of paper that the cute asian wrote her number on (not on purpose) and she wrote her number done and handed it back to me and whispered 'who is Nati?' to which I turned her head towards cute asian girl and said 'your competition' from which I got one of those smiles like good answer silly boy are you sure you want to play with fire. Then I walked away.

Once outside, I thought I was going to throw up. I'm glad I'm stomping on my comfort levels, but I might give myself a freaking heart attack, but at the same time there's some type of adrelanine rush also going on. Anyway, I think I might have survived round one with SHBSwimmer.

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