Saturday, May 07, 2005


I have spent most of the week dealing with my bum leg which surprisingly in my focus on my leg, I have completely ignored everything except work and healing my leg which has had some unintended pua consequences. Let me explain.

On Monday at the gym, I asked BVicky to help me move some weight. Now, I have been going to this gym for over a year, other than a nod, quick smile, or a good morning, I never spoken to BVicky nor knew her name until Monday that simple act of asking for help has gain me a new potential target more than likely friend from which I can find more targets. In one week, I know more about this cute chick with a nice body than I would have imagine had I have tried to do some sly gym hook-up, like I see so many fellows try ... aw, Honey you need to move arm, etc this way bs... Anyway, my goal here is to move the relationship out of the gym where it leads I don't care because I think I have learned something very important this week.

Which is to be ME focused. That's all I have done. And all the other bullshit and dump little things that have done to get a woman's attention other than talk to her seem stupid. On Thursday, I met some friends at Citron for Cinco de Mayo happy hour upstairs. At the first the place was moderately packed downstairs and began to fill up and people came upstairs. The stools up stairs suck but I was sitting in one with my bum leg on the other. BMarcy ask if she could sit and I said 'No'. She gave my some sad eyes and I turned and continue to talk with my friends. After a while, I went to the bathroom and I return, she and her friend where sitting in both stools, she and her friend got up and said 'Here you, you can have the stools back'. I promptly sat down and said 'Thank you'. She then asked what happen to my leg and told her I was trying to be a smooth Don Juan last week and proficiently busted my ass and she died laughing which led to a convo about how she broke her leg skiing which led to convo about 'Fear Factor' which somehow I got to drop an opinion opener/convo transition about men and women athelics which got us into some verbal fun sparring with her giving me some playful punches ie kino. I ended on the George Costanza high note, turned to my friends and said I'm leaving then turned to BMarcy and handed her a pen and a piece a paper and said 'Here write down your email' (I owe this to DYD) and without a cue she added her phone number. I should had asked if it was a her cell or home but it wasn't in mind. All really wanted to do is go home before I got too drunk and bust my ass again.

So what have I learned from this week. I think the most important thing I have learned is to be ME focused. Focus on my comfort not anyone else's. Focus on my needs, not anyone else's. Focus on my happiness, not anyone else's. I think have cross some mental line, which unlike some of the validation stuff that I have read. It's more of a getting what I need without being rude, nasty, or hurtful. Also, it is a touch not kissing women asses nor minor how insignificant the gesture, convo, or actions are.

1 comment:

Wayne Elise said...

Hey bro, this is John from Charisma Sciences. Came across your blog from our web referrals - thanks for listing us!

Two thoughts:
1.) You're dead on w/r/t having to talk to her. When I was 15, my favorite band was a punk/ska group called Slapstick, and there was a lyric like "I run around, spun around and shout, so you'd notice me too." Fact of the matter is, this doesn't work. You gotta be the one to make the first step. And as someone who used to have about the worst approach anxiety possible, I can tell you that at some point, it just goes away.

2.) Focusing on your own happiness is the path to enlightenment. My friend/mentor Katherine is 38 and often single. I once asked her how she deals with the loneliness, and she said, "I just like myself a lot."

I wrote a blog on our site awhile ago called "Living in Preparation for Dying." Have a look - I think you'd like it.