My Big Mouth

This started last night and I have been on a roll.

Former Boss: Congratulations. I hope we can work together in the future.
Sniper: I don't think so.
(This guy put me in the poor house while helping promote girls he was trying to impress)

While standing waiting for the train:
HB: (Huffs) Can you move?
Sniper: Yep. (But I didn't move because I would have ended up on the train tracks)

Leaving the gym
Beggar: (Who I saw walk then open a wheelchair and sit down) Can you help me out?
Sniper: Nope.

Text message
HBSharon: How come you don't call me?
Sniper: What would you like me to call you?

Going to a meeting
Hotel Clerk: (After I waited a minute while he tried to pick a woman) Um, Sir, Can I help you with something?
Sniper: You had your chance.

Lunch
Waitress: Glad to see you made it. You were keep us waiting.
Sniper: I was fixing my hair. (I shave my hair bald)

At CVS
BWoman: Do you work here?
Sniper: Are asking me out?

Happy Hour (Mie-n_Yue)
AMOG: Nice shirt
Sniper: That's cute. You like me. (Credit: Lance Mason)

Phone call
The One: I free on Thursday for dinner.
Sniper: Great! What are you making?