Thursday, May 26, 2005


So I have spent the past days beating myself up for two failures to approach. Now, most of the time I would be able to shrug it off, but I'm quit pissed at myself. The number one reason is that for the past two months, I have been practicing and reading everything I can get my hands so that when an opportunity rose I would act and not coward. The second reason is that there were clear signs of intents with these women, strong eye contact and reciprocating smiles. The thrid reason is that I was attracted to these women. Understanding what needs to be done and actually doing it are two different things. I think I have done too much reading (spending too much time in a inner state) and not enough on the ground practicing (removing my mind from an inner state to an outer state).


Anonymous said...


And beating yourself up about it has the same effect. Let them go, there are 384378462 more of them out there.

You're doing great. Don't be too hard on yourself.

A Smith said...

To be exact BG, there are ONLY 384378460!

But you are right about reading those books. In fact I have the same problem. I think Derek Vitalio said:

"Too many guys attempt to learn seduction from the comfort of their chairs.

The fact is you need to go out into the field and get real, actual practice to improve. Only through real practice can you learn the nuances of seduction and really internalize the new behaviors.

Without practice, you may “know” a lot of book theory, but you won’t have the muscle memory of how to act. You won’t know how to bring the right piece of knowledge in at the right moment. You won't know how to your theoretical map onto real world situations.

It would be like reading every book on basketball ever written, and then going onto the field having never actually practiced. You’re not going to win any games."

I have few more letters that discuss these things but I don't want to quote them here, it would take up a lot of space. So if you are interested in them, contact me. But by doing that you'll be back where you are right now - reading material!:)

Instead do what I do, at least it helps for me, get a journal and write every detail of that encounter, what you think you did wrong and how you could improve it, using the theory that you now know.

Writing a web log might be useful (because of the comments we RAFC's get from PUA's, like BG, thanks pal) but with that journal you'll be able to write down everything after she walked away, that way not forgetting any detail.

Seriously, get the journal. Journals are used by runners to indicate their progress, by dieters to see what they ate and how much they lost and by many others. So why couldn't we RAFC's use one to improve?

And get in the field more!

Good luck,
A Smith