Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Grounding My Identity

Sorry the post have slowdown, work and the IRS are kicking my ass!

Last weekend, my universes began to collide again which is not at all a real bad thing. I have always tried to keep school, work, and social separate. I am starting to see this really screws up my identity. For example my college friends only know me as Sniper from college, campaign friends as Sniper from x campaign, and etc... The thing is I'm the same guy no matter in what situation, but group on knows a part of that guy and in DC your universes overlap so why try to keep them separate. I think it goes back to my extreme AFC days where I didn't want anyone to know about other parts of my life because if I had that one part together then why didn't I have the other together. Delusional? Quite possibly.

I ran into an old party friend who had just moved into town, for the past 3 years she has lived in Arlington and was looking for a job in her field. So I offered her a job. Her response was I never know this about you, how many drunken nights have we hung out together with each other, how many road trips have we been on together? It was not that she did not know what I did, but she really did not understand what I did. If you tell some you are an electrician, boom they know what that is and they have a picture in their mind, but if you the electrician that wires the White House, FBI, and CIA, you are not just an electrician. It was interesting to see a friend who I know in one way totally look at me with this kind of respect and admiration and of course that I would had banged you had I known this about you.

Why am I rambling about this? Well, because most of my weekend was spent in social environments that primarily dealt with my profession. Now, I could have at a fundraiser walk up to a set of HBs and run an opinion opener because this is not something they are going to usually here at a function like that, but it would be so freaking incongruent to whom I am especially in an environment where I have social proof.

What I have found is you can run game anywhere and really not be that skilled and still hook-up on the club level. You can run a day game in the streets or cafes and not be very skilled and still get numbers and hook-up. Is there another level to the game? Like an everyday life, realistic game.

Ok, sorry about that tangent. What I was trying to get at is that in the past, I have always hidden some part of myself and that in itself was an internal DLV which probably kept me in AFCdom for a long time.





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